Master Pimp Moony
by CatManandHisTrashWriting
Summary: A coffee shop AU where Moony meets up with his book club buddies to gossip, but an unexpected Prongs and Padfoot show up.


N/A this sucks but I had the idea stuck in my head and I didn't find one that anyone wrote so I decided to write it.

"Sirius, are you sure Moony won't mind?" James asks as he hurried to catch up to a overly excited Sirius.

"Don't be ridiculous Prongs! Moony dearest is probably wasting away in a book he NEEDS the distraction." Exclaimed Sirius, as they made their way to the muggle coffee shop that Remus had told them he frequents. Arriving there they looked around, but no moony was seen. A few elderly people, a couple middle aged people, and a large group of girls their age sitting near the bathroom.

"Lets order and then check for him." James offered the disappointed Sirius.

They go and order, James getting a Carmel Latte and Sirius getting his usual black coffee.

"— oh my _gawd_ Remmy look at those guys that walked in! I call the one with glasses I love a good nerd!" Says a high pitched voice behind them.

"Hey I'm not a nerd!" Answers back James just as Sirius yells, "MOONY!" As he runs to the other boy's lap.

"Damn it, Padfoot! That's not appropriate to do in public, you're embarrassing Moony!" A mildly amused Prongs points out.

"Trust me, Remmy here won't mind at _all_!" The girl sitting next to Remus says.

"Sirius, James what are you two doing here?" Questions Remus, eyes wide like a dear in the headlights.

"Oh I see how it is *dramatic sniffle* now that schools not a thing you've forgotten about good old padfoot"

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to not sound enthusiastic, I'm glad you guys are here, I just wasn't aware you guys were paying me a visit."

"Exactly, it was a surprise *sniffling* but clearly we are not wanted. Come along prongs, we'll takes these chocolates elsewhere."

"Now c'mon Sirius, don't be like that! You know I love having you, I was just shocked. Also where is the chocolate?"

"Wait so he's Sirius?" Says one of the four girls with Remus that Sirius had momentarily forgotten were a thing.

Remus glares at her.

"And who might you be?" Sirius asked.

"I'm Clare, and you must be Sirius. Remmy here has told us so _so_ much __about you! I must say though you're certainly much cuter in person!" She said, winking flirtatiously.

"Owe Remmy don't kick me! I'm only telling the truth! Plus you always did have the tendency to hog the cute ones. Owe! Remus!"

"I'm sorry about them, yeah... she's always like this. It's a wonder I'm still dating her. I'm Bella, that's Megan, and that's Carrie." Bella says.

"Oh shush you, you love me," Clare says pouting.

"Of course I do but that doesn't stop you from being a pain." Bella exasperatedly retorts.

"I'm James and as you already know about Sirius apparently. We're Remus's friends from school."

"We know plenty about you too, don't worry! Remus tells us loads about you both. We're Remus's book club buddies." Adds Carrie.

"Lovely to meet you all, c'mon Sirius. We'll come back another time moony, you have fun!" James says

"You two totally don't have to go, why don't you join us?" Says Clare.

"I don't think that's a good idea.." Remus said.

"Yeah, Remus wouldn't want us to figure out which of one of them he's dating if not all of them."

All the girls stare at him and burst into hysterical laughter.

"Funny joke mate" Bella says

"Yeah, for a second I thought you were serious!"

"I don't really see how that's funny, although my name is Sirius."

"I don't think he knows guys.." Megan says.

All the girls turn and give Remus questioning stares.

"Knows what?" Sirius says frustratedly, and suddenly the tension was thick in the air.

"Dear god moony you're not dating ALL of them, are you? Sheesh you're pimping it" James exclaims. A few of the girls giggle nervously.

"Know what, Moony?"

"Can't we just let this go?" Bella asks

"Yeah he'd tell us if it was important padfoot." James says agreeing.

"No, it's fine I'll tell you. Either way I was planning on telling you with Peter when I had a chance" Remus says. "Just promise things won't change after I tell you this"

"Moony, our minds have already been made up on you, nothing'll change our opinion of you."

"Will you still say that if I told you I'm gay?"

"Nothing's changed Moony, well other than Sirius's chances with you. Also if it makes you feel better I'm Demisexual and Sirius here is Bisexual. But he's leaning mostly towards one specific little bookworm with a chocolate addiction"

Remus looked dumbstruck and on the verge of tears and Sirius wrapped his arms around the poor boy, whispering sweet nothings to him.

The three girls eyes flickered with recognition of what James was hinting at, breaking the silence with a squeal fest.

"Owe guys you're killing our ear drums!" Remus declares, uttering what everyone in the coffee shop were thinking.

"Girls I think we should give these gentlemen some space," James says, "how about I treat you all to pizza or something?"

"Sounds great, see you two later," said Bella.

As James, and three of the girls were walking towards the door, Clare quickly walked back.

"By the way, since you're both so bloody daft, you're both gay for each other. I would know, I'm the expert on homosexuality, ask Bella. Also Remus talks about you all the time, so siriously get together now. Yes that was a pun on your name. Now is this the part where you kiss," she announces.

"DAMN IT CLARE GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE YOU'RE RUINING THE MOOD." Yells an exasperated Bella as she yanks Clare away.

"DONT FORGET TO GIVE HIM YOUR JACKET AT THE END OF THE NIGHT ITS CUTE" Clare yells as she's rudely taken from the establishment.

"How were they not kicked out?" Sirius asks

"Because Meg's dating the barista"

"So Moony, you're gay for me?" Says Padfoot smirking playfully at him.

"So Padfoot, you're gay for me back?"

"How about a date?"

"This is basically a date,"

"Weirdest date ever"

"Agreed" 

"So did you tell the girls about me?" Asks Sirius as he wiggles his eyebrows suggestively.

"That you're a bloody twat. Also Padfoot?"

"Yeah?"

Moony plants a small peck gently on Sirius's lips and they both knew this was the start of something brilliant.


End file.
